25 june 2009

Just had a nightmare that Sarah died from cancer. I spent the last few days with her and she was pretending that she wasn't sick. We graduated from college, she showed me her new house, then we got manicures and dinner. I was extremely upset with Michel this entire time and Sarah was telling me that it didn't matter, that worrying over him wasn't worth it. I flew home on a Saturday and heard from someone else that she died after I left. Somehow Erin D was there and Ashley from middle school and some of Sara's friends and we were having dinner. I think I was sitting next to Amanda. People were talking about her and I felt so incredibly sad and hopeless and guilty and I just put my head down and started crying. When I got home I realized it was all a dream. I told my mom and she immediately called Rachel L to find out how Sarah's mom was doing. (In waking life, Sara's mom is really sick and almost died a few years back)

Wake.